An act?

What do people think of me?
How am I in their eyes?
Tough.
I look tough, and I want it that way.
I never knew I was succeeding in it though.
I break myself so others can't.
I tell others that I love and respect myself.
That I'm sane.
That I care about nothing at all. [Though it's true... just 70%]
That I believe in myself.
That I'm strong willed.

But really, I don't love and respect myself.
I think that I'm insane. Mentally ill actually. For real.
I care about what people think about me. About what others are going through. About a lot of things actually.
I don't believe in myself at all.
And I'm weak and sensitive.

But it's good fooling people.
So when one day we'll have a huge fight that will cause our friendship to collapse, they can tell me nothing that will seriously bring me down.
And for that, I have to stop trusting people and opening myself to others.
Cause my close friends, or those that were till a few weeks ago, know the real me.
But I won't make the same mistake with the next bestfriends I'll have.
But I don't think that that'll be soon.
I'm planning my life for the next months to be:

1. Studying.
2. Going to the camera-person course.
3. Working. [Though I still have to find a job]
4. Reading.
5. Revising a story that I wrote about 2years ago.

Yeah, being a kind of loner I guess. Not that I mind, but I guess everyone needs some type of company sometimes.