New year.

2 more days and it's a whole new year.
Life is going to remain the same as it is now.
I mean, I won't start getting along with my parents. I'm not going to discover what I'm going to do with my life. I won't forget the love I once had. I won't accept who I am.
But it's a new year, and things tend to look brighter and better.
We tend to think that a whole new year means a whole new life.
But maybe, just maybe, it is. Well, only about the things that I want to do.
I want to start studying.
I want to find a job.
I'm supposed to start a course for a camera person.
I've wanted that for a couple of years now.
But on the other hand there's the going to univeristy and study for a psychologist dream. But it's too far. 8 years, or more.
And I don't tend to dream so far. And I don't believe in myself that much. Eventhough I tried putting these things aside, but I know that they'll always be there and they'll always effect the way I live and choose things.

New year.
There's also the resolutions part.
I don't really believe in them. Why should you change your life when a new year begins? I never follow them anyways.
But I don't know, in these days I tend to start thinking about life and so unconsiously, I make some resolutions myself.
Apart from the studying, finding a job and the course, I made one more: Not letting anyone bring me down.
And it's going to take a lot of work not to let that happen.
It started this morning when my mom came in my room and she starting complaining and saying shit because my wordrobe is a mess.
And she slammed the wardrobe doors and the drawers just to wake me up.
But I laid in bed, not moving, wanting to scratch my ass so bad cause it started itching in the wrong time -___-'
I woke up, and I made a descion. No one will ever bring me down again. I am the one that's going to make choices for my life... no one else. And I'm not going to live up for anyone's expections.

I can do it.
And I'm going to.

Xmas Eve

I didn't go out yesterday for Christmas Eve. The main reason was because I was broke. A lot.
And then when I thought about it, I felt like a hypocrite.
I hate Christmas but I still wanted to go out and celebrate it?
Stupid.
It's like if the World Cup is won from any other country other than Italy, and I'll celebrate still.
Nonesense.
So I came out with this new theory: That as long as I will hate this day, I will celebrate it no more.
But I will go out on New Year's Eve.
I love 1st January.
It's the perfect day for a new beginning.
I know that you shouldn't wait for the beginning of new year to make changes to better yourself and all, but it still feels like everything is new. Finally.
Yes. It's the best day of the year.

Special love to Fran =P

Here to...

I'm here to make a change. To make my voice be heard.
I'm here to save lives. Mentally, emotionally & physically.
I'm here to achieve my goals. To make things that no one believes I can.
I'm here to rebel against your commandments. Against myself.
I'm here to make all of this happen. To satisfy my own apetites.

I hate Christmas.

Oh! Such a shock! But really, what are your reasons of loving this day?
Maybe cause you're being an egoist and you give presents to your friends so they'll give you something back?
Maybe cause you show love to those that in fact you hate? You know, double-faced and shit.
Maybe you love the fact that a lot of people commit suicide in this wonderful day? Dunno. Maybe they feel lonely because some asshole like you is faking happeness on this day. And they think you truely are.

So if by any chance someone is reading this blog, tell me if there's at least one thing you do from what I mentioned above.

Wishes

Ever felt terribly afraid about dead?
Afraid that you would never be able to fullfill your dreams if you died?
I think about it almost everyday.
I have so many things that I want to do; that I want to achieve.

I want to go on a road trip in America with a VW Camper.
I want to get in a band.
I want to go to University and become a psychologist.
I want to go to India.
I want to grow wiser.
I want.. too much things and I swear I'm going to work hard to achieve them; unlike what others believe.

What are your wishes? Dreams?
Are you ready to let blood and sweat run out of you so that they'd happen?